The synopsis-promise of the 79th Cannes Film Festival’s Titanic Ocean is to dive into a splashy new indie film telling the tale of aspiring teenage mermaids at a Japanese boarding school. On the surface, it sounds refreshing and intriguing. An hour into its runtime, though, you may find yourself checking your shellphone.

Making her directorial debut, Konstantina Kotzamani is a Greek auteur making a film set in Japan featuring an entirely Japanese cast speaking Japanese for most of the story. In a further controversial move, generative AI cushions the impressive underwater ending sequences, resolving my looming questions about how a film in the Un Certain Regard category at Cannes could look so high-budget.

The story starts off strong. We see the camaraderie of female friendship, gorgeous aquatic decor throughout their rooms and dressing rooms, mesmerizing underwater sequences, and an odd premise that just might work: the girls are at school to become professional mermaids in aquariums and casinos.

The intensity of the school’s instructors and the odd frivolity of their curriculum is reminiscent of But I’m a Cheerleader (1999). The teenage girls are being graded on their grace, their beauty, their siren song, the pigment of their unique hair color, the new name they give themselves, and their ability to hold their breath underwater. Yokohama Blue’s (Kotone Hanase) mother even comments on her weight, saying she can’t afford to buy Yokohama a bigger tail.

Titanic Ocean comes close to harnessing these themes to convey the gendered challenges and expectations placed on young women, but the film meanders. Our lead character, Deep Sea (Arisa Sasaki), struggles to find her voice and achieve greatness. She selects her siren song, “I Follow Rivers” by Lykke Li, at karaoke, when her friend says, “During karaoke, you don’t choose the song… the song chooses you.” Once Deep Sea sings the song to her coach, Kotaro (Masahiro Higashide), whom she has developed feelings for, his face washes over with shock and enchantment, and blood spills from his ear.

She fears the pain she causes him when she sings, but he says that it is a beautiful thing when a mermaid seduces or sings to a shark. Here is where the waters get murky: do the filmmakers intend for the tone to be as campy and fanfiction-esque as it comes across? I found myself laughing at parts that felt as though they belonged in a Tina Belcher diary entry on Bob’s Burgers (2011-). However, the film does not seem self-aware of its own humor and instead attempts an earnest, more coming-of-age drama approach, rather than the satirical comedy I took it as.

When Variety spoke with Kotzamani on her inspiration for the storyline, she highlighted “the ancient Greek myth of the Sirens: these monstrous yet deeply feminine creatures who lure men toward the sea through their voices, toward desire, surrender, and the unknown.” Her goal was to convey Deep Sea’s song, awakening her inner needs after she had been quiet and withdrawn. While the music is powerful, and Deep Sea does advance as a professional mermaid, the primary consequence of her coach’s enchantment with her cheapens the personal growth it could’ve conveyed. Even when she gains her voice, her confidence remains nonexistent, and her crush is all-consuming.

There is a world where her voice, captivating and harming Kotaro, could alter Deep Sea’s energy, making this more of a Jennifer’s Body (2009) “good for her” thriller. However, understandably, that’s too ambitious a detour to take when a script is already biting off more than it can chew.

Setting aside the slow pace and divided directions of the storyline, Titanic Ocean takes you on a colorful fever-dream ride. The title is derived from Deep Sea’s ironic fear of the deep sea, with “Titanic Ocean” as the term she coined as a little girl to describe what she imagined loomed below. The cool-toned cinematic visuals, Pinterest-worthy grotto adornments, and wavy water-surface credit sequences give the film the appearance of a cult classic, but these positives ultimately fail to redeem its meandering plotline.

To quote Deep Sea’s siren song, “I follow you, Deep Sea, baby,” but I can only go so far offshore.

Review Courtesy of Risa Bolash

Feature Image Credit to Homeade Films