The only people who know how hard it is to be a mom are mothers. Many movies have tried to capture the anxiety and difficulties motherhood brings, like Bad Moms (2016) and last year’s Nightbitch (2024), but none of them do so as effectively as Mary Bronstein’s second feature film, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You (2025). Having already premiered in January at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You already had a ton of buzz heading into the Toronto International Film Festival, and it more than delivers on the hype. 

The film stars Rose Byrne as Linda, a working wife and mother who is dealing with an immense amount of pressure coming from a thousand different directions. Her daughter, mainly played off-screen by Delaney Quinn, is suffering from a mysterious illness that requires her to be fed through a feeding tube. Her husband (Christian Slater) is a captain working on a boat overseas, which means Linda has to handle everything herself. The cherry on the top is the massive hole that bursts open in the ceiling of their Montuak apartment, which also acts as a somewhat overused metaphor for the emptiness Linda feels every single day. 

It’s hard to talk about If I Had Legs I’d Kick You without first mentioning how genius Rose Byrne is in the film. The movie would not work without her dedicated performance. Byrne single-handedly carries If I Had Legs I’d Kick You as she is more often than not the only actor on screen for a majority of the movie. Bronstein’s intense close-ups of Byrne immediately fixate the audience on the character’s state of mind, which slowly but surely devolves into insanity. More than that, Byrne is simultaneously able to make you laugh, cry, and scream with her layered performance. 

Those who remember last year’s Nightbitch, starring Amy Adams, which also premiered at TIFF, may pick up on some similarities between these two films, as both stories follow a mother at the end of their rope. That being said, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is a much more intelligent and poignant exploration of the same themes, which fully embraces its off-putting tone. On the other hand, Nightbitch was far more sanitized, making it feel like a hollow version of what it could have been. 

One of the reasons I was excited to see If I Had Legs I’d Kick You was to see Conan O’Brien’s performance, as I’m a massive fan of the comedian. O’Brien plays Linda’s therapist, working in the same clinic as Linda, who is also a therapist. He spends most of their sessions acting cold towards Linda, providing little help, which prompts Linda to scream, “Why won’t you listen to me?!” as he continues to ignore her problems. As much as I adore the O’Brien, his role in the film is significantly underwritten—there is no payoff to his oddball scenes, which seem like they will lead to more than they ultimately do. 

O’Brien’s role in the film isn’t the only frustrating aspect, as the pace and escalation of the story also struggle to match the impact of Byrne’s hard work. Act One begins with a bang. Linda is phenomenally introduced to the audience through the opening sequence and the rest of the first forty-five minutes. However, the film doesn’t escalate enough beyond Act Two, leaving it to feel like it takes up far too much of the runtime. Ultimately, Act Three feels almost non-existent. It doesn’t feel substantial enough compared to the anxiety-inducing pace of the rest of the film. 

Still, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is a definitive case study for those who struggle to fulfill their daily responsibilities due to mental health issues. It can be challenging to ask for help or to feel like you aren’t being heard, especially when the whole world is seemingly working against you. If I Had Legs I’d Kick You captures that feeling for almost two hours straight and without relief. 

One of the most brilliant aspects of If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is that it leaves many plot points up for interpretation, including the heartbreaking ending. While this may be frustrating for some, the film’s ambiguous ending serves to cement its status as an intelligent exploration of those who feel out of control of their lives and the dangerous consequences that can arise from neglecting the help they truly need. 

Review Courtesy of Ethan Dayton

Feature Image Courtesy of VVS Films