How does a human being deal with grief? Where does grief begin, and where does it end? How long does it last? Perplexing questions vary from one person to another and from one culture to another.
Losing a loved one shakes up your entire perspective on life and forces you to get a reality check. Even then, we depend on fiction to deal with those turbulent feelings and thoughts. When life takes a backseat, and you are in survival mode, movies might just help release all those mixed emotions. They have done that for ages now.
The writer of this article has been struggling with the loss of a loved one for two months now. And, as always, I turned to movies to help me cope with the catastrophic loss of a brother, friend, travel partner, and the love of my life. While some days go by, some are too damn hard to deal with. Grief comes in waves, and like the sea, it doesn’t ever stop.
If you are on the same roller coaster ride as me, I’m sharing a list of movies I turn to these days. These movies come as a catharsis whether you watch them for the first time or rewatch them for the 10th time. Some of them are light-hearted, some intense. Pick, experiment, see what suits you, and let the catharsis begin:
Goodwill Hunting (1997)
This Robin Williams classic is usually categorized under movies on mental health. However, there’s a lot of wholesomeness in the grief side of it. In a film far more resonant now than in the 90s, Robin Williams’s character Sean is endearing as a widower who seems to have coped with his wife’s demise but lives with it nevertheless. You might feel that Sean’s understanding of life and his work as a mental health professional underwent an evolution after losing her. A stark reminder that grief not just changes you but also becomes a part of your life. Through his intense sessions helping Will, Sean deals with his own pain in a very heart-wrenching way. A feel-good movie, Goodwill Hunting might just make you glad for your time with the one you lost.
Karwaan (2018)
The Akarsh Khurana directorial is known for its medley of emotions depicted amidst hilarious situations. One of the last films of the late Irrfan Khan, Karwaan tugs at your heartstrings as you see a son coping with the loss of his estranged father while he goes to retrieve his body after it is exchanged with a woman’s. The journey he undertakes to South India brings him, very subtly, face-to-face with the emotions he had buried for his dad, who always disapproved of his life choices. The movie is more about the loss of parents, especially absent, abusive fathers, but it’s bound to make you reminiscent of the not-so-happy moments we had with those who are gone. It’s all about making peace with whoever they were or are.
October (2018)
A beautiful yet extremely intense film, October is not everyone’s cup of tea. 95% of the movie happens in a hospital where a young hotel management student fights for her life after falling 30 feet from the building. Her friends quickly forget her situation except for one temperamental fella who wasn’t even her friend. Dan, played amazingly by Varun Dhawan, keeps harping on the fact that Shiuli was asking about him right before she fell to her death. He keeps visiting her, preventing her uncle from taking her off life support, encouraging her family not to give up, all the while dealing with the repercussions of his absence from work and financial constraints. The range of emotions Dan feels as he watches Shiuli struggle for life will remind you of all the times when the death of someone distant affects you deeply while others wonder what’s the deal with you. Fair warning – keep tissues handy, and don’t stop yourself from crying.
Highway (2014)
Imtiaz Ali is the master of portraying difficult emotions on screen, and Highway is, unfortunately, an underrated gem of his. The movie doesn’t deal with grief directly because the male protagonist (the inimitable Randeep Hooda) is ultimately shot and killed. But it will take you on a journey, literally, to the dark, hidden corners of your heart as you see a kidnapped Veera discovering herself on the highways of India as she travels with her abductor, Mahabir. Widely misjudged as a movie on Stockholm syndrome, Highway brings out the betrayal Indian families cause to their women and children in the name of family honor. It also shows the stark class divide that makes villains out of men like Mahabir, who is reminded, through Veera, of the abuse his mother dealt with at the hands of his father. It’s not romantic love, but the inner child of Veera and Mahabir finding each other and dealing with the aftermath of their childhood traumas. The last scene of the movie is where the essence lies. And this scene always gets me.
Masaan (2015)
This listicle would be incomplete without it. The name itself means crematorium. You will see dead bodies cremated and the crematorium staff doing their job passively. Several stories are fused together in this critically acclaimed film that shows you the ultimate reality of life – death. Masaan is neither a pleasant nor a difficult film. It falls exactly where life and death merge. Both do their job, and in the end, it’s just grief that remains. Maybe that’s what Deepak (Vicky Kaushal) means when he screams, “Why is there no end to this pain?”
Not just movies. If you are a series lover, certain shows have dealt with grief in lovely ways. Honorable mentions include:
Modern Love Season 2 Episode 1: An inanimate object like a vintage car becomes the haven for a person lost to a disease. The episode portrays why it’s difficult to let go of what our loved ones leave behind, including their favorite automobiles.
Pose Season 3: The entire show is beautiful in myriad ways. But the juxtaposition of grief and joy that Pose brings out is unlike any other. Watch it to understand that just like life even death is not linear. And sometimes, it might not even make sense.
Here’s hoping we make it through this!
Article Courtesy of Neha Jha
Feature Image from ‘Massan’ via IMDb
Recent Comments