It’s remarkable how much the Transformers film series has occupied the latter part of Michael Bay‘s career. It’s even more impressive how insistent Paramount studios—at a time when they lost the rights to Disney—wanted to make the Transformers films the flagship of their studio. In total, Bay’s tetralogy has grossed a combined global gross of $4.37 billion. Since his departure, the studio has been left with the remnants of their would-be franchise and has decided to somewhat course correct and rely less on Bay’s sensibilities and more on the lore and character of the brand.
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023) opens nationwide, and we find ourselves as a culture wondering if we really need more Transformers films. I want to look back at the franchise from 2007 to its 2018 entry and rank them in terms of not just quality (the quality between certain films will be varied and vast) but how they fit within the context of the latest entry and see how much more room there is to grow for the world of transforming robot cars.
6. Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)
When it comes to what people would consider to be the worst entry in the franchise, no two people can provide the same answer. The tolerance for Michael Bay’s aesthetics runs the gambit of what people are willing to accept. As someone who sincerely loves most of Michael Bay’s non-Transformers films, I believe the distinct honor for the worst of the franchise must go to Transformers: The Age of Extinction (2014). People will have their preferences on what they consider the worst, but I truly believe this is one of the most cynical, worthless films to have been manufactured by the Hollywood conveyor belt in quite some time. A misanthropic film that’s shameless and bloated in its disregard for storytelling and common sense while gleefully scraping your face in its metallic excrement until the disposable 3D glasses are what remains on your skull.
Shia LaBeouf would not return to the series after his outing in the last three installments. Mark Wahlberg gets to meet the material head-on as a failed inventor, Cade Yeager, that comes across Optimus Prime, banged up and in hiding from the humans. After the events of the third film, a CIA Black Ops division led by Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammar) works with the Decepticons to track down and kill the Autobots. Cade, along with his daughter, Tessa (Nicola Peltz), Tess’s boyfriend, Shane (Jack Reynor), and Optimus (Peter Cullen), are on the run to try uncovering a corporation using dead Autobots to enhance global defenses by extracting Transformium.
Just the plot description alone would lend to the absurdity on display, yet a seemingly simple plot is stretched to two hours and forty-five minutes of runtime, making it the longest film in the series. There is not a minute of epic, dramatic plot or character that isn’t taken for granted in service of the typical frat-boyish Bay sense of humor. Incessant action sequences and a barrage of product placements and tie-ins with China reduce the arc of the franchise to a distorted version of Hollywood’s vision of future blockbusters. It’s clear Bay did not want to return after what he felt would be his final entry with Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), yet Paramount insisted on him making more. Bay would agree if he could make the much smaller black comedy Pain and Gain (2013), as well as retain some authorship over the future of the franchise.
The signature “Bay-isms” feel hollow, more contrived, and forced to replicate the Bay trademarks that have made him so (in)famous. The practical explosions and car crashes are sterile and lackluster. There’s no real excitement or joy the previous films generated, as the set-pieces lack originality and are suffused with as much clanky sound design and sparkling visuals in every frame to distract the viewer. The new characters are generic at best and unintentionally hilarious at worst. Shane, age 20, must carry a card detailing how it’s okay for him to legally date Tess, who’s 17, in the state of Texas. Wahlberg is tremendously miscast as a struggling father/inventor, and with all due respect to the foul-mouthed detective from The Departed (2006), Wahlberg as an inventor is the least believable aspect in a film involving robot dinosaurs.
Product placement is integral with Michael Bay films that slowly it has become white noise, yet, Age of Extinction becomes so blatant in its placement that it becomes humorously noticeable. Cade slowly drinking a Bud Light in a close-up with the glistening sun illuminating his thirst quenched after surviving a death-defying stunt. Or the naked moment the head of the evil corporation, Joshua Price (Stanley Tucci), demonstrates how Transformium can transform into a Beats Pill. All of this culminates into a climax in China that feels interminable if only to cater to Chinese audiences by having a Samurai Transformer voiced by Ken Watanabe, or the pointless insertion of Chinese popstar, Han Geng, playing himself, and the most poignant moment involving Tucci sitting center frame holding upfront a Chinese milk box. (The film would go on to be the highest-grossing foreign film in China until Furious 7 a year later.) No matter what Paramount decides to do going forward, they can only go up from Age of Extinction.
5. Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)
Speaking of going up, the follow-up film, Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), plays out like Michael Bay and the company’s death rattle for this franchise. Everyone gave up. Bay’s crassness in his humor and senseless action succeeded—the action is mind-numbing and crosses over into a collage of moving parts and sparks encased by exaggerated sound effects and noise. The characters are relegated useless—Cade is the same monotone fast-talking slickster from beginning to end without an ounce of internal change or growth, and his daughter is now replaced by a young streetwise orphan, Izabella (Isabela Moner) with mini-robot friends meant to appeal to younger children. Even the writers gave up. Ehren Kruger left after being the sole writer for Transformers 3 and 4 and as a co-writer for 2.
The film opens with a revisionist history of King Arthur and casts Stanley Tucci as the drunken version of Wizard Merlin, as he is helped by 5th-century Transformers to defeat the Saxons. And in that spirited sense of the film, giving up allows the relief that nothing here matters. There’s no need for personal investment, as that would be counterproductive to the film’s construction. In that sense, Knight is better than Age of Extinction, but only by a slim margin. And by a slim margin, it’s ten minutes shorter.
One aspect that makes the film experience better is the addition of Sir Anthony Hopkins as Sir Edmund Burton, the last member of a secret society called the Order of Witwiccans. An order that has known for centuries of Transformers living among mankind (we’re even treated to old historic photos of their involvement in The Underground Railroad and WWII). Hopkins fully commits to the comedic bits and the silly nature of talking to Transformers as they are human characters. There’s a level of smooth effortlessness in how he presents himself in every scene that it’s hard not to be taken in by the infectious energy.
In one scene, there’s a high-speed pursuit in which Hopkins sits passenger-side to his deranged butler bot driving at high speeds while spouting, “Move bitch, get out the way,” whilst asking Burton, “Are you available for a snuggle with Agnus in the evening?” Burton responds, “I don’t want to have a snuggle with Agnus. Do I look available to you,” which ends with Burton giving the finger to their chasers. It’s that kind of charming commitment from an actor of his caliber that makes Sir Anthony Hopkins a national treasure and the few scenes of his appearance worth enduring. If only for a little bit.
4. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
It’s fascinating to re-examine Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) during the current Writer’s Strike, where pitiful pay and the fear of looming technological advances could impact the creative process and screenwriting for the future of entertainment. The script for Bay’s second outing was an amalgamation of spare parts—screenwriters Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman, who wrote the first film, and Ehren Kruger, had 2 weeks to write a rough treatment for the sequel before the clock struck midnight and the 2007-2008 Writer’s Strike commenced.
Bay took their treatment and expanded it into a 60-page scriptment that resulted in a two-hour and twenty-nine-minute monstrosity of an over-bloated, nonsensical sequel that heightens the frat humor, childish sensibilities and essentially improvises the plot as it trudges toward an inane climax. The Writer’s Strike is not to blame for this film, but it certainly demonstrates why it’s best not to leave screenwriting and storytelling treatments to people incapable of threading a narrative.
The sequel establishes that Transformers have been on Earth since 17,000 B.C., and the original Autobots (referred to as Primes) obtained their energy from the sun using harvesters that vowed never to jeopardize humanity by destroying our sun. A rogue Prime disagrees, thus, becomes the original Decepticons known as “The Fallen.” Cut to the present, we see Sam (Shia LaBeouf) entering college. With a small shard from the AllSpark that he destroyed in the previous film imprinted in his mind, he can see Cybertronian symbols that could lead the Decepticons to a new Energon source.
All of Michael Bay’s tendencies are ratcheted up to a degree that would ostracize most Bay apologists. The action is incomprehensible, the explosions are constant, the fetishization of the American military becomes masturbatory, and the humor is puerile with its bombardment of sexual energy that reduces its female characters to objects to be leered at like Maxim cover models. (Bay treats us to a close-up of Mikaela’s shorts as she’s bent over a bike as her introduction, later, a small robot dry-humps her leg—Megan Fox is our lead female protagonist.) The humor also borders on being racially offensive, with the introduction of Mudflaps and Skids, two robots emulating racist tropes of Black culture, fitted with gold teeth, chains, and talk slang as if they’re wannabe gangsters from the ghetto.
It’s an incredible achievement how a product this distasteful only came out less than fifteen years ago warrants placement on this list for its sheer audacious nature of it. There’s nothing redeemable about it; nothing is advanced in the plot or narrative (though this does establish that a Robot heaven does exist), and in terms of Bay’s oeuvre, it’s a blemish that even he looks back at disappointedly. Paramount let Bay off the leash, and what resulted was a costly eyesore of inflated special effects showering scenes involving racist (and horny) robots, exposition with drooling, farting old Prime robots, and a climax that features John Turturro underneath a pair of two metallic balls, so he can utter the line, “I am underneath…the enemy’s scrotum.” Truly a sight to behold. The film, not the robot genitals.
3. Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
Bay wanted to redeem himself from Revenge of the Fallen, so of course, he would cut down on his tendencies and try to deliver a film that is mildly cohesive while marginally inoffensive. Nope.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon would find Bay back at the helm after a quick turnaround from the massive success of the second film, this time he’s lucky to have Ehren Kruger as the film’s only writer and decided to jump in the post-Avatar (2009) 3D-craze Hollywood found itself in the 2010s. Kudos to James Cameron for convincing Bay to apply 3D to the third entry, as it helps elevate the action to be less frenetic and more cogent to the eye (as well as being a fantastic movie-going experience at the time).
I distinctly classify Dark of the Moon to be one of the better entries of the sequel, despite the glaring flaws and the uninspired writing that keeps the film’s first half from having any real momentum or engagement. Dark of the Moon posits that the real reason man went to the Moon was to contact a crashed alien ship, and the U.S. government has known all along about the existence of Transformers. Sam lives in Chicago not with Mikaela from the last two films but with a totally new girlfriend, Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whitley), as this character is introduced via a walk up a staircase as Carly struts in her undies with the camera lingering behind her undies. (This marks Huntington-Whitley’s film debut, as she was a Victoria’s Secret model. Bay has decided to film her as such).
All of this adds to Optimus and the Autobots reviving Sentinel Prime (Leonard Nimoy), the commander of the crashed ship. It is revealed Sentinel has plans to use Earth’s resources to rebuild the world of Cybertron and has made a deal with the Decepticons. Carly is captured as a hostage, and the Autobots find themselves at war with the Decepticons in the streets of Chicago.
The first half is a total slog—the chemistry between Sam and Carly is nonexistent, as it’s clear this character was originally written to be Mikaela before Megan Fox was fired from production for labeling Bay as a tyrant director. The relationship established is gone, and so is our ability to care for a relationship that is superficial, and LaBeouf’s performance reaches extreme levels of grating as he yells, yelps, and mugs toward the camera in moments to add levity. The perpetual dogged nature of these films to provide unnecessary depth to these movies bogs it down in exposition monologues and history lessons that distend the film to a runtime of 154 minutes. There is a clear distinct mark when the Decepticons transport to Earth from the Moon (it doesn’t matter how), and a war wage in the streets of Chicago, as Sam and a small band of soldiers and Autobots combat the Decepticons and destroy Sentinel’s plans.
The inclusion of Chicago was a smart choice, as it allows for creative manners of destruction to fill the screen but through fluid extended 3D camera cinematography that was developed to be hand-held so as to allow Bay’s shooting style to remain intact. The battle is extensive, stretching nearly an hour, and it can feel redundant after a certain point. Still, Bay manages to keep it fresh, as several set-pieces utilize the Chicago setting in some remarkable sequences. One showcases soldiers gliding through downtown Chicago while another involves a crumbling skyscraper that characters must outmaneuver gravity by pulling off some ridiculous stunts. The franchise becomes fun again, recalling what made the first film work. In that, this is what many would consider the best (and that’s mildly putting it) sequel by Bay for this franchise. The plot, characters, and stakes are secondary to the realization that these are alien robots fighting for rudimentary reasons; the grand spectacle just had to be dynamic enough not to feel like a chore.
2. Bumblee (2018)
Bumblebee (2018) was the first Transformer film without Bay’s involvement, and unsurprisingly, it’s an incredible improvement as the best-reviewed film in the series. The film acts as a prequel to the events of the entire franchise. Taking place in 1987, we’re introduced to Charlie Watson (Hailee Steinfeld), a teenager grappling with the death of her father while coming to terms with her mom, Sally (Pamela Aldon), moving on with a new partner. Charlie is gifted with an old Volkswagen Beetle that she fixes and nicknames “Bumblebee,” and it soon awakens. It turns out Bumblee is an Autobot scout that is on the run from Decepticons after fleeing Cybertron. The Decepticons con their way with a secret governmental agency, Sector 7, led by Colonel Jack Burns (John Cena), to track down and destroy Bumblebee.
Travis Knight steps in to fill Bay’s void and does an excellent job of grounding the film between the classic trope of the disillusioned adolescent teen and an alien. The film certainly borrows heavily from E.T. the Extraterrestrial (1982). However, Knight and screenwriter Christina Hodson infuse the film with a unique personality of its own to be separate from the Bay films. Steinfeld is an excellent lead, managing to never be upstaged by the action as a woman who’s lost so much that an alien robot left alone is her closest link to something worth fighting for. It’s hokey enough to feel uninspired, but her performance, along with the film’s construction and digestible action, make the film an enjoyable experience and not overbearing. At 114 minutes, the film is fast-paced and cogent to follow the narrative that never overstays its welcome, and the relationship between Charlie and Bumblee is endearing to feel the direction to take this franchise is by injecting it with more heart and dramatic stakes and less…well, just about everything of the previous films.
1. Transformers (2007)
It was only sixteen years ago when a 13-year-old me sat in a packed movie theater and witnessed Michael Bay unleash the mass destruction of metal and explosions nationwide in Transformers (2007). The film was assaultive, domineering, and unrelenting in titillating robot fights, noises, guns, the military, and supermodels into the shy nebbish dweebs—everything a pre-teen boy could ever want in a movie and then some. It was Bay’s biggest film that brought the 80s cartoon to life and dazzled audiences around the world.
Quality-wise, it’s debatable. The humor and exaggerated stylizations that would become rampant in future sequels are in their nascent stages. Bay had to deliver a film that could be generally liked while implementing the ground-breaking special effects that could be clear-cut and visually pleasing to the eye. The narrative, while elongated past two hours, is relatively straightforward: the Autobots and Decepticons are in a civil war and embark on Earth in search of the AllSpark: a cube that is the source of all Cybertronian life. Sam is introduced as a dork-type teen who buys his first car, an old Camaro (Bumblebee in disguise), while he tries to woo the misunderstood popular girl, Mikaela, who loves to fix cars. All three converge with Optimus and the rest of the Autobots, as they must find the AllSpark before Megatron and his cohorts.
In honesty, Bumblebee is clearly the best this franchise has managed to offer in terms of quality film. Yet, from a pure blockbuster spectacle of dazzling visual effects, a charismatic performance in Shia LaBeouf connected with the newcomer bombshell presence of Megan Fox, and incredible usage of blending practical effects that Bay insists on making as realistic and tangible to the viewer while seamlessly blending in the visuals of the robot machinations, Transformers is a stunning effort. A film born from the Hollywood desperation of adapting old 80s cartoons to live action done with considerable talent in front and behind the camera. The sound design headed by legendary sound designers Kevin O’Connell, Greg P. Russel, and Peter J. Devlin is astounding, as each transformation sequence integrated with the extravagant action set-pieces immerses the viewer that would make an impression on any young adolescent in movie theaters back in 2007.
In retrospect, the film is charged-up with the humor we would revolt in disgust in later films, but not to the same extremes. In a way, this is Michael Bay dialed down to not detract from the main attractions. The Transformers film would occupy so much of Bay’s filmmaking period that it’s a shame the brand seems more sullied by the sequels and how much in shambles the direction seems on where to take the series. Hopefully, Rise of the Beasts can pave a path forward in not having Bay as its albatross and give fans that have been burned, blasted, and lubricated upon a satisfying adaptation of Transformers.
Article Courtesy of Amritpal Rai
Feature Image via Paramount Pictures
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